The sweetest thing in life is knowing that you are succeeding. I have set out on a quest. A quest to get down to 220 pounds for my sister's wedding in May. I've come a loooong way down from 275 pounds to clock in at 239 today. Doesn't take a math major to figure out that I'm only 19 pounds away! It also doesn't take a math major to figure out that I have lost a whopping 36 pounds since Halloween. I am overly excited about this. I am amazed at how "easily" it has come off, honestly. I know these last 19 will probably be the longest pounds of my life, but I don't care. I might try to go even lower than 220 after the wedding, but I cannot fathom how I'm going to look even at 220, much less something like 200. I don't wanna get too small! I'm winning. I've not let the world and its crazy ways get to me. I am not going to be going back to eating all the bullshit that I've given up for these past few months. The days of drinking soda, eating shitty food, and being fat are over. I'm committed, and solidified in my quest.
In case anyone who actually reads this is wondering, I've done it through correct diet and exercise. I've adopted a new philosophy that if something is worth doing, it's worth doing correctly. This applies to eating, working out, cleaning, just general life things. It really is astounding how just changing your diet and doing a quick 30-45 minute workout 3-4 days a week can totally change your body. Don't get me wrong, changing your diet can be REALLY hard if you are caring for more people than just yourself. Finding time to workout is even hard for me, and I live alone. You have to make the time, or it won't get done. I've been mostly weight training with some core work thrown in, and it's produced results. I'm extremely happy with where I'm headed! I put in a lot of research and time into picking what kind of workouts I do, and I think I've done pretty well for myself so far. I'm only 3 weeks in, and I've dropped a ton of weight. The tougher programs are even still to come!
Nothing else really new in the life, as of yet. I'm looking for a new job, and am seriously considering asking Brad to put in a good word for me at Sysco. The benefits are awesome, and after taxes it would be something like a 700 dollar raise a month, that's not pocket change. The hours would jive pretty well with going to school, I just don't know when I would sleep! The sacrifices we make, right? Doing this will put me in a MUCH better financial position, and I won't be just scraping by each month. Would be nice to know how that feels. Like I said, the hours will suck, and the job probably will too, but I've got to find something different.
That's all I have for now, I'll catch you later
-JWR
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The Exultation of That Thing.
This is it. Last blog that will be about the stupid wench that I dated for so long, and almost regret dating now. Almost.
I do not want to talk about her anymore. Ever. I do not want to think about her anymore. Ever. I've done amazingly well over the past week or 2 NOT talking about the situation at hand. At least I think I have. I'm very heartened by this! I don't miss her at all anymore. I don't even miss going to bed with her anymore. I don't miss having her here. She, quite honestly, brought out the worst in me. The lazy-pants, apathetic, irritated person you all knew is (mostly) gone. Let's be honest, I still get annoyed. Who doesn't? I still have my lazy days but, again, who doesn't? Right now, I'm happy. I'm enjoying being myself for the first time in a long time. I'm enjoying working out 3-4 times a week. I'm enjoying not sitting at my computer nearly as much as I used to. Hell, I'm even enjoying cleaning my house and doing laundry. It's a fucking mess right now, but that will change here in the next few days.
Someone who brings out the worst in people isn't someone you want to have a relationship with. Take it from me. I have first hand experience. I see Lyndsay and Brad, or Ashley and Joe, or even Cassie and Pat, and looking back on it we didn't have what these couples have; These couples have, at least on the surface, Independence from one another. They don't have to, or need to, be together every waking moment of every day. They don't need each other at all times to be a functioning unit. This was a downfall of my relationship. She wanted me to basically be with her at all times, while ignoring the things that make me who I am. Things such as friends, family, games, etc. I cannot deal with a person such as this, and I cannot fathom why I exulted her over all others for such a long time. I probably left some pretty satisfying relationships on the table for her. Whereas once she came upon one that looked good, she bolted. She honestly reminds me of my friend Helmet's ex-wife, Julia. Julia would CONSTANTLY call Helmet and ask him to come home if he was out with friends. Amanda had/has very few friends, and of the few that she had a lot of them were my family, or have subsequently abandoned her because of how she is now acting. Wonder what she does for fun now. Nah, I don't really care.
Looking back on it, I'm not sure that we were happy for a long while. This wasn't because anything had changed in me, this was because everything had changed in her. She wasn't always the needy, attention loving, vain person that she is today. She used to be the best girl for me in the world, which is why I loved her. She used to pretty much let me do whatever I needed to do in order to feel like I had my sense of Independence. This changed about a year ago once that Douche Bag came back into the picture. Once he showed back up, she changed. She, all of a sudden, needed every waking moment of my attention. This wasn't a BAD thing per se, but once you start to live with someone, you aren't going to have their attention at all times. I suppose it's better to find out all these things now instead of later, no? Yes, I was going to ask her to marry me in February. I'm thanking whatever sentient being that is up in the big blue, if there is one, that she went crazy on me before we took that step.
I guess what I can take from this situation is this:
Never compromise your (rational) ideals for someone. What I mean by this is as such; You should never change yourself for someone. You should change yourself because you want to. If you are doing it for someone else, you will end up resenting that person eventually. If you are doing it for yourself, you will be happy as a clam. It never fails.
Never turn away someone who could be your prince/princess. I hear single girls bitching all the time about not finding nice guys to go out with. Well, maybe that person who "wasn't good enough" for you at the bar, or at the ball game, or at the ski lift, or what the hell ever was your knight in shining armor. Maybe that person that you turned down would have been the best thing that ever happened to you, and you have no one to blame but yourself for losing it. Don't get me wrong, there has to be an attraction. That's just nature. Some people just take a while to get warmed up, you know? I speak somewhat from experience, and somewhat from observation. I haven't been single in 5 years, so it's not like I was turned down a lot. But I have seen people get totally dismissed, by both males and females alike, because in the 15 seconds that they went up and said "Hello" to someone, that person decided if they were worthy or not. This is a fundamental problem in finding someone that is a fantastic person. Usually the best of us are shot down in 20 seconds! Haha. Does it really take that long out of your night to have a 5 minute conversation and try to get to know someone?
ALWAYS be a nice person. At least try to be. I'm a total asshole sometimes, but most of the time it's because the person is either A.) Related to me. Or B.) Deserves it. Being cordial is going to make you more friends, and in turn make you meet more people. Networking is the social lifeblood of dating/relationships. If more people think you are awesome, more people will introduce you to their friends they think are awesome, and then off you go!
Never take anything for granted. Nothing is guaranteed. Not ever.
Lean on your friends/family. I've gotten so much closer to all of my friends/family throughout this whole process. I don't think I could have made it through without each and every one of them. These people will always be there for you when you need them. And if they aren't, then they aren't the type of person you want to associate with anyway.
Love yourself. This is the last, and greatest, of all my points. If you don't love yourself, how can someone else possibly love you in the greatest of emotional senses? It's utterly impossible. Be confident in yourself, be confident in your abilities, and good things will happen for you. I'm slowly learning to be ok with myself. I'm much better off for all of this bullshit getting dropped on my head. I don't regret it happening even for a second at this point. I'm down to 245. I'm living life. I'm loving life. I am SHIVA, DESTROYER OF WORLDS... Uh... yeah, moving on. Plus the knowledge that if she stays with this guy, she'll probably end up in a gutter somewhere doesn't hurt either. ;)
Well, that was it. This is the last blog that will be about her. It wasn't even really about her anyway, as it was about what I took from our relationship. I had a good time writing it, and hopefully I'll be able to cut that piece of my heart out that still belongs to her, and throw it in the East River or something. (Figureatively speaking of course).
Peace out, and Be Excellent to One Another.
-JWR
I do not want to talk about her anymore. Ever. I do not want to think about her anymore. Ever. I've done amazingly well over the past week or 2 NOT talking about the situation at hand. At least I think I have. I'm very heartened by this! I don't miss her at all anymore. I don't even miss going to bed with her anymore. I don't miss having her here. She, quite honestly, brought out the worst in me. The lazy-pants, apathetic, irritated person you all knew is (mostly) gone. Let's be honest, I still get annoyed. Who doesn't? I still have my lazy days but, again, who doesn't? Right now, I'm happy. I'm enjoying being myself for the first time in a long time. I'm enjoying working out 3-4 times a week. I'm enjoying not sitting at my computer nearly as much as I used to. Hell, I'm even enjoying cleaning my house and doing laundry. It's a fucking mess right now, but that will change here in the next few days.
Someone who brings out the worst in people isn't someone you want to have a relationship with. Take it from me. I have first hand experience. I see Lyndsay and Brad, or Ashley and Joe, or even Cassie and Pat, and looking back on it we didn't have what these couples have; These couples have, at least on the surface, Independence from one another. They don't have to, or need to, be together every waking moment of every day. They don't need each other at all times to be a functioning unit. This was a downfall of my relationship. She wanted me to basically be with her at all times, while ignoring the things that make me who I am. Things such as friends, family, games, etc. I cannot deal with a person such as this, and I cannot fathom why I exulted her over all others for such a long time. I probably left some pretty satisfying relationships on the table for her. Whereas once she came upon one that looked good, she bolted. She honestly reminds me of my friend Helmet's ex-wife, Julia. Julia would CONSTANTLY call Helmet and ask him to come home if he was out with friends. Amanda had/has very few friends, and of the few that she had a lot of them were my family, or have subsequently abandoned her because of how she is now acting. Wonder what she does for fun now. Nah, I don't really care.
Looking back on it, I'm not sure that we were happy for a long while. This wasn't because anything had changed in me, this was because everything had changed in her. She wasn't always the needy, attention loving, vain person that she is today. She used to be the best girl for me in the world, which is why I loved her. She used to pretty much let me do whatever I needed to do in order to feel like I had my sense of Independence. This changed about a year ago once that Douche Bag came back into the picture. Once he showed back up, she changed. She, all of a sudden, needed every waking moment of my attention. This wasn't a BAD thing per se, but once you start to live with someone, you aren't going to have their attention at all times. I suppose it's better to find out all these things now instead of later, no? Yes, I was going to ask her to marry me in February. I'm thanking whatever sentient being that is up in the big blue, if there is one, that she went crazy on me before we took that step.
I guess what I can take from this situation is this:
Never compromise your (rational) ideals for someone. What I mean by this is as such; You should never change yourself for someone. You should change yourself because you want to. If you are doing it for someone else, you will end up resenting that person eventually. If you are doing it for yourself, you will be happy as a clam. It never fails.
Never turn away someone who could be your prince/princess. I hear single girls bitching all the time about not finding nice guys to go out with. Well, maybe that person who "wasn't good enough" for you at the bar, or at the ball game, or at the ski lift, or what the hell ever was your knight in shining armor. Maybe that person that you turned down would have been the best thing that ever happened to you, and you have no one to blame but yourself for losing it. Don't get me wrong, there has to be an attraction. That's just nature. Some people just take a while to get warmed up, you know? I speak somewhat from experience, and somewhat from observation. I haven't been single in 5 years, so it's not like I was turned down a lot. But I have seen people get totally dismissed, by both males and females alike, because in the 15 seconds that they went up and said "Hello" to someone, that person decided if they were worthy or not. This is a fundamental problem in finding someone that is a fantastic person. Usually the best of us are shot down in 20 seconds! Haha. Does it really take that long out of your night to have a 5 minute conversation and try to get to know someone?
ALWAYS be a nice person. At least try to be. I'm a total asshole sometimes, but most of the time it's because the person is either A.) Related to me. Or B.) Deserves it. Being cordial is going to make you more friends, and in turn make you meet more people. Networking is the social lifeblood of dating/relationships. If more people think you are awesome, more people will introduce you to their friends they think are awesome, and then off you go!
Never take anything for granted. Nothing is guaranteed. Not ever.
Lean on your friends/family. I've gotten so much closer to all of my friends/family throughout this whole process. I don't think I could have made it through without each and every one of them. These people will always be there for you when you need them. And if they aren't, then they aren't the type of person you want to associate with anyway.
Love yourself. This is the last, and greatest, of all my points. If you don't love yourself, how can someone else possibly love you in the greatest of emotional senses? It's utterly impossible. Be confident in yourself, be confident in your abilities, and good things will happen for you. I'm slowly learning to be ok with myself. I'm much better off for all of this bullshit getting dropped on my head. I don't regret it happening even for a second at this point. I'm down to 245. I'm living life. I'm loving life. I am SHIVA, DESTROYER OF WORLDS... Uh... yeah, moving on. Plus the knowledge that if she stays with this guy, she'll probably end up in a gutter somewhere doesn't hurt either. ;)
Well, that was it. This is the last blog that will be about her. It wasn't even really about her anyway, as it was about what I took from our relationship. I had a good time writing it, and hopefully I'll be able to cut that piece of my heart out that still belongs to her, and throw it in the East River or something. (Figureatively speaking of course).
Peace out, and Be Excellent to One Another.
-JWR
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Resolutions.
New Years' Resolutions usually aren't my thing. I don't mess with them, I don't like them, I don't even usually resolve to do anything different with the coming of a new year. Usually they get broken in about... 3 days. This year is a little different. I've resolved to not let myself get in the way. That probably sounds weird, I know. I've resolved to not let myself take away from the person that I am. The past few days have been hard days. I don't know if the finality of everything is starting to set in now, or if the fact that I learned she had been lying to me for over a year just set me back this much. The reality of the fact is, she won't be coming back to me. I don't know if I could even take her back at this point. Not after what I've learned and what she's done. At the same time... I can't help but still have feelings. I can't help but still think that I'm in love with her. At the very least, with the old her before she got bitten by a water-monster and lost all of her attractive qualities.
I'm having some issues. Some of them are purely physical. I feel like when we first broke up right now, where I don't really want to eat. I don't like feeling like that, so I force myself to eat something. I've gotta start finding something to occupy my time so I don't think about this cluster-fuck of a situation as much. Problem is, I've tried almost everything. Video games don't work. Movies can only last you so long. TV is the same as movies. Working out can only do so much for you before you over-work yourself. I'm devouring books like a 500 pound guy at the buffet line, but it still doesn't stop it. I don't know if it's time that I need, or something greater. I guess what I could really use is something awesome to happen. Anything awesome, really.
The one thing that actually does seem to help some is friends and family. My friends are awesome, and have been awesome throughout this whole mess. My family has pulled around me because they know I'm devastated. I guess I couldn't REALLY expect to get over a 5 year relationship in 2 months. I do hope it happens soon though.
Anyway, back to the issue at hand. I've resolved to not let myself get in the way. I'm an analytical person. I always have been, and I probably always will be. I like to overthink things. I like to talk things out rationally instead of having arguments. I'm trying to throw at least a portion of that out the window. I don't need to be rational about everything. I don't need to analyze shit until it's dead in the ground. I analyze myself constantly, and it's not a good thing. I'm very self-deprecating. I put myself down saying shit like, "Man, there is no way I can do that...". Well, I'm tired of that bullshit. I can do whatever I want to. I'm a smart guy, no one can deny that. I'm a good person, no one had better try to deny that either. I'm borderline retarded. Someone please deny that. ;) Seriously though, I've lost 30 pounds since all of this shit happened. I look pretty good. I'm wearing shirts now that I couldn't even wear in high school. My pants literally fall off of me if I'm not wearing a belt, some of them do that even when I am wearing a belt.
It's hard for me to be nice to myself, honestly. I don't like telling myself, "Self, you are a good guy. You aren't half bad looking either. You are a smart person. You are this, you are that..." I don't like doing that. Instead, I tend to do the opposite. This is the behavior I want to change. Confidence is one of the best things that you can have in life. If you are confident, usually good things happen for you. I'm confident in my abilities. I'm NOT confident enough in myself. Those sound like contradictory statements, I know. What I mean is that I'm confident enough in my abilities that I know that I can do tasks that are given to me. I can go pick the the dry-cleaning, or what the fuck ever. What I'm not confident in is myself. If I ran into a good looking girl at the dry-cleaning place, there is no way I would ever talk to her. It's a weak analogy, but it's there. I guess that's why most guys go out with friends. You are more comfortable and more confident in yourself when you are with your friends. It's now that I wish more of my friends weren't married. :P
I think I'm going to be done blogging today. I know this was kind of a mish-mash of thoughts and musings, but that's where my head is right now.
I'm having some issues. Some of them are purely physical. I feel like when we first broke up right now, where I don't really want to eat. I don't like feeling like that, so I force myself to eat something. I've gotta start finding something to occupy my time so I don't think about this cluster-fuck of a situation as much. Problem is, I've tried almost everything. Video games don't work. Movies can only last you so long. TV is the same as movies. Working out can only do so much for you before you over-work yourself. I'm devouring books like a 500 pound guy at the buffet line, but it still doesn't stop it. I don't know if it's time that I need, or something greater. I guess what I could really use is something awesome to happen. Anything awesome, really.
The one thing that actually does seem to help some is friends and family. My friends are awesome, and have been awesome throughout this whole mess. My family has pulled around me because they know I'm devastated. I guess I couldn't REALLY expect to get over a 5 year relationship in 2 months. I do hope it happens soon though.
Anyway, back to the issue at hand. I've resolved to not let myself get in the way. I'm an analytical person. I always have been, and I probably always will be. I like to overthink things. I like to talk things out rationally instead of having arguments. I'm trying to throw at least a portion of that out the window. I don't need to be rational about everything. I don't need to analyze shit until it's dead in the ground. I analyze myself constantly, and it's not a good thing. I'm very self-deprecating. I put myself down saying shit like, "Man, there is no way I can do that...". Well, I'm tired of that bullshit. I can do whatever I want to. I'm a smart guy, no one can deny that. I'm a good person, no one had better try to deny that either. I'm borderline retarded. Someone please deny that. ;) Seriously though, I've lost 30 pounds since all of this shit happened. I look pretty good. I'm wearing shirts now that I couldn't even wear in high school. My pants literally fall off of me if I'm not wearing a belt, some of them do that even when I am wearing a belt.
It's hard for me to be nice to myself, honestly. I don't like telling myself, "Self, you are a good guy. You aren't half bad looking either. You are a smart person. You are this, you are that..." I don't like doing that. Instead, I tend to do the opposite. This is the behavior I want to change. Confidence is one of the best things that you can have in life. If you are confident, usually good things happen for you. I'm confident in my abilities. I'm NOT confident enough in myself. Those sound like contradictory statements, I know. What I mean is that I'm confident enough in my abilities that I know that I can do tasks that are given to me. I can go pick the the dry-cleaning, or what the fuck ever. What I'm not confident in is myself. If I ran into a good looking girl at the dry-cleaning place, there is no way I would ever talk to her. It's a weak analogy, but it's there. I guess that's why most guys go out with friends. You are more comfortable and more confident in yourself when you are with your friends. It's now that I wish more of my friends weren't married. :P
I think I'm going to be done blogging today. I know this was kind of a mish-mash of thoughts and musings, but that's where my head is right now.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
cos<3 = ?
I stole my post title from xkcd, an amazing webcomic for the nerdiest of the nerdy. This really has no bearing on anything, aside from a shameless plug for the comic!
It's the truth though. Mathematics can define many things in this world. Math can define limits for any sort of engineering, physics, and it's pretty much the lifeblood of any sort of advances that society makes as a whole. One of the things that math cannot quantify? Love. Love is something that is immeasurable. Love is not a quantity. Love is... undefined in the mathematical sense. What I mean by this is that love is actually defined linguistically, but as an entity, you cannot define it. I wonder if it's for that reason that it's so hard to find, and once you do find it, you are not even sure about it even still. I thought I had it with Amanda. I was clearly wrong. I must not have done the derivative correctly in my equation or something, right? :P
I learned some more news about my sad, 5 year, farce of a former relationship last night. The news did not sit very well. In fact, it made me drink until I threw up about 10 times. It was not really all that enjoyable. Now, here's the rub on this subject; I don't know if I needed to know that. I mean, I'm glad that I do know now, but when I was already trashed and emotional was probably not the best time. I know that she's a cheating whore. I know that she has probably been seeing this other guy on the side for quite some time now. I know that she's been lying to me for AT LEAST a year. I now know who she is, and that person is terrible. She may be lovely on the outside, but on the inside she is a bitter husk of her former self. She is the discarded remnants from a night of passion. She's a prom night dumpster baby, and the "mother" poured her last beer all over "It" as she threw "It" away. She is garbage. I'm not bitter though, honestly. Do I sound bitter?! Ok, I'm fucking bitter.
I'm better off with her being gone, because our relationship for the past year has been based on a lie. It's been based off of a mother-fucking bullshit lie. This does not make me happy to say (type), but for Christ's sake I'm SO tired of feeling like I've done something wrong. I've done nothing wrong. I did nothing wrong. All of her reasons for her taking this path, and all her reasons for her leaving me are absolutely superficial. They are selfish. They are... stupid, to be quite blunt. I had all things that she quoted me the first night that she broke up with me fixed within 20 minutes of her leaving. Clearly these were not the real problem. In my heart, knowing what I know now, she would have left me eventually anyway. She just happened to find her excuse recently. She has wanted to do this since that night that he first tried to steal her away from me, in my humble opinion. Otherwise, why would she do what she did, and not only lie about it, but lie about her feelings about this guy to me almost on a daily basis while telling me that she loved me. These two people deserve each other. They are both terrible people, and amazing examples of how exactly NOT to go about relationships. They are examples of what happens when the weak-minded lead the weak-minded. It's all about running at each other with helmets on, while tripping over sticks and singing pop goes the weasel. Why pay attention to real life when you can have fun, right? Bills? Fuck that! Mommy will pay them for me like she did last month! LET'S GO SHOPPING! Ri-fucking-diculous.
I hope they are happy, because they are all they are going to have. They both don't have anything even resembling a friend anymore. At least not within 4 states' proximity. And I'm pretty sure she's been lying to those people as pertaining to what EXACTLY happened. I honestly need to find something different to blog about. But when your life has been turned on its ear, you tend to only really think about what turned your life all topsy-turvey. I'll blog about a happy thing real quick though!
My sister is getting married in May. I'm so excited for her! Brad is such an amazing person, and I'll welcome him to the family with open arms. I know I kind of fell into being a groomsman, but I wouldn't think of regretting saying yes, and I really don't think that he regrets asking me. We've gotten closer over the past few months, and I'm very glad I decided to "convince" Lyndsay to take a chance on him during those late-night talks after work. I'm so glad that someone in this family finally found someone that will treat them like they fucking deserve to be treated. Let's hope she isn't the last, either. I'm happy that I get to walk down the aisle with Ashley, Amanda's (former) best-friend. Like I've said in a few other posts, she's been a rock to me the past few months, even though it's been maddening for her and her husband. She put up with me when even my family was getting tired of me. ;) I would love nothing more than to accompany her down the aisle, and party like hell after the wedding. Let's just make sure that this party doesn't end with me head in a trash can, yeah?
Now I'm done.
-JWR
It's the truth though. Mathematics can define many things in this world. Math can define limits for any sort of engineering, physics, and it's pretty much the lifeblood of any sort of advances that society makes as a whole. One of the things that math cannot quantify? Love. Love is something that is immeasurable. Love is not a quantity. Love is... undefined in the mathematical sense. What I mean by this is that love is actually defined linguistically, but as an entity, you cannot define it. I wonder if it's for that reason that it's so hard to find, and once you do find it, you are not even sure about it even still. I thought I had it with Amanda. I was clearly wrong. I must not have done the derivative correctly in my equation or something, right? :P
I learned some more news about my sad, 5 year, farce of a former relationship last night. The news did not sit very well. In fact, it made me drink until I threw up about 10 times. It was not really all that enjoyable. Now, here's the rub on this subject; I don't know if I needed to know that. I mean, I'm glad that I do know now, but when I was already trashed and emotional was probably not the best time. I know that she's a cheating whore. I know that she has probably been seeing this other guy on the side for quite some time now. I know that she's been lying to me for AT LEAST a year. I now know who she is, and that person is terrible. She may be lovely on the outside, but on the inside she is a bitter husk of her former self. She is the discarded remnants from a night of passion. She's a prom night dumpster baby, and the "mother" poured her last beer all over "It" as she threw "It" away. She is garbage. I'm not bitter though, honestly. Do I sound bitter?! Ok, I'm fucking bitter.
I'm better off with her being gone, because our relationship for the past year has been based on a lie. It's been based off of a mother-fucking bullshit lie. This does not make me happy to say (type), but for Christ's sake I'm SO tired of feeling like I've done something wrong. I've done nothing wrong. I did nothing wrong. All of her reasons for her taking this path, and all her reasons for her leaving me are absolutely superficial. They are selfish. They are... stupid, to be quite blunt. I had all things that she quoted me the first night that she broke up with me fixed within 20 minutes of her leaving. Clearly these were not the real problem. In my heart, knowing what I know now, she would have left me eventually anyway. She just happened to find her excuse recently. She has wanted to do this since that night that he first tried to steal her away from me, in my humble opinion. Otherwise, why would she do what she did, and not only lie about it, but lie about her feelings about this guy to me almost on a daily basis while telling me that she loved me. These two people deserve each other. They are both terrible people, and amazing examples of how exactly NOT to go about relationships. They are examples of what happens when the weak-minded lead the weak-minded. It's all about running at each other with helmets on, while tripping over sticks and singing pop goes the weasel. Why pay attention to real life when you can have fun, right? Bills? Fuck that! Mommy will pay them for me like she did last month! LET'S GO SHOPPING! Ri-fucking-diculous.
I hope they are happy, because they are all they are going to have. They both don't have anything even resembling a friend anymore. At least not within 4 states' proximity. And I'm pretty sure she's been lying to those people as pertaining to what EXACTLY happened. I honestly need to find something different to blog about. But when your life has been turned on its ear, you tend to only really think about what turned your life all topsy-turvey. I'll blog about a happy thing real quick though!
My sister is getting married in May. I'm so excited for her! Brad is such an amazing person, and I'll welcome him to the family with open arms. I know I kind of fell into being a groomsman, but I wouldn't think of regretting saying yes, and I really don't think that he regrets asking me. We've gotten closer over the past few months, and I'm very glad I decided to "convince" Lyndsay to take a chance on him during those late-night talks after work. I'm so glad that someone in this family finally found someone that will treat them like they fucking deserve to be treated. Let's hope she isn't the last, either. I'm happy that I get to walk down the aisle with Ashley, Amanda's (former) best-friend. Like I've said in a few other posts, she's been a rock to me the past few months, even though it's been maddening for her and her husband. She put up with me when even my family was getting tired of me. ;) I would love nothing more than to accompany her down the aisle, and party like hell after the wedding. Let's just make sure that this party doesn't end with me head in a trash can, yeah?
Now I'm done.
-JWR
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)