It's been a while!

I find that without the ongoing bullshit ex-girlfriend to talk about, my life is actually pretty boring!

That being said, the saga continues. I continue to hear things about her, or things that she is doing that baffle me. Lying to her new boyfriend's parents, lying about what our relationship was, etc. It makes me think: Does she actually believe these things that she is saying? Does she really believe that I was "just some guy she was seeing for a little while."? I don't quite understand it, to be honest. Of course, I haven't understood much about this whole process. The people she is lying to are people who don't give two fucks about me, and people who she should be trying to be as truthful as possible to, you know? What good does it do to lie about it? People are confusing.

I've been thinking rationally about this situation for a few days, and I cannot come up with a rational explanation as to what she is trying to accomplish by lying. Maybe that's my problem. I'm thinking rationally. To lie to someone who can talk to Ashley's mother and get the real story is just folly. The problem with all of this is that on some level I do still care. She was everything to me for a long time, and I'll never deny that. That doesn't mean for a second that I regret the relationship ending, mind you. In fact, I'm glad that it did now a days. We would have never been happy with the way that things were going. The fact remains though, I give a shit about how she remembers me. I remember her fondly sometimes, and others I wish her emotional pain beyond anything I've experienced. That's just how breakups work, I guess. I mean, I know the people that are important to ME know what we were. On some savage level I still give a shit about how everyone views me, not just the people that are important to me, everyone. It doesn't matter if it's co-workers recognizing that I'm intelligent, or if it's just friends knowing that I'm an awesome guy. I don't feel as if I'm being given the appropriate level of recognition in this situation, not that I can, or will, do anything about it.

Man, this is getting weirder by the week it seems. Dodged a bullet with this one.